If you watch Laguna Beach, you live a shallow, unaccomplished life. Feel free to do society a favor by killing yourself.

by The Rooster

Ah, yes. Monday nights, at about 8 AM. It's that time of week in the fall. I start browsing through AIM away messages, and I start seeing such idiotic blather as, "OMG LAGUNA BEACH" or "WATCHING LAGUNA BEACH WITH MY FRIENDS." (Here's a hint, you dumb bitch, if you had any friends or a life for that matter--you wouldn't be watching rich fucking pricks in California). I seriously wish I could go back in time and kick whoever thought of giving these rich fucking fags a TV show in the throat. Seriously, they're a bigger scourge on society than Adolph Hitler was.

One time, I was at my friends house, and his little sister was watching Laguna Beach. (Because that's what annoying white girls do--watch MTV). I was playing cards, but I was unfortunate enough to catch some clips of the show, and holy fuck, that was the biggest mistake of my life. I would rather suck the dick of a burned out vietnam war vet with 36 STD's and no legs than be subject to another half hour of Laguna beach, quite possibly the worst TV show since Orange County.

Seriously, they say drugs and slapping hos in rap videos is a scourge for the values of today's youth. Fuck that, atleast slapping a bitch is productive. Shows like Laguna Beach are a bigger threat to society. I have ACT scores to match the IQ's of the girls who watch this TV show. (And I got an 18, so eat shit you shallow ass whores). Seriously, what the fuck makes these fags in Laguna Beach worthy of a TV show? I'd really like to fucking know. Steven, the "hottie" of the show is the biggest fucking queer I've ever seen in my life. I don't care if he's getting his dick sucked. I wish he'd get punched in the fucking throat and then stabbed repeatedly. And then I hope all the bitches on the show become pregnant and die miserable, painful deaths.

Seriously, if you watch this how, just kill yourself. There is no way you can enjoy this show and have anything productive to offer to society in general. Just get the fuck out of the way and make way for people who have the intellect above a carrot.